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Thursday, June 24, 2010

olf no G

Twisted F3


Hey Mr. Titelist – My game is at its pinnacle, what height is this? Could always get better, never lose sight of this. Hot Dogs at the turn, can’t take a bite of it. Can’t clear the water, must hit right of it. Missing 3 footers and explode like dyna-mit. I mean dynamite. Don’t have a marker, I’m a mark it with a dime aight? Lightning strikes, don’t try to be a fire fight. Down wind, gotta try to hit with a higher flight. Shaking over putts, too much sapphire sprite from the prior night.  Good golfers I admire right. Healthy medium b/w fire ice.  Been playing this game my entire life and still don’t understand why some golfers lie despite, this is an honest game, not like flying kites. In the summer time, you can play til’ 9 at night. Opponent makes bogey and the time is right. Never be a quitter, need to find a fight. He hit it left of the stakes defined by white. Two strokes more to the bottom line to type, creative w/the pencil and you sign the hype, but you are lying to yourself, and the lies are white, bc you and I both know you don’t have a minor slice, only way you get good is if you say bye to wife, or you buy the wife some knock off irons, perhaps Titleiced?


Oh Ms Titleist I love those dimples, love how u reinforce me
when I keep it simple.  I'll try not to do the over the top jig, or go inside out like I'm flippin' my wig.  I swear that I hit you cause I love you true,  I follow through with every plan I draw up and dream I fade into.  You're my quarter to a bum hun, I love sound of you at the bottom of the cup, done.  I knew when I was young how strong our love be, when I sent you to the woods and you came right back to me.  I know I hurt you bad when I switched to miss Nike,  took the hooks out and tried to slice me, passed down a penalty, set me up with your ugly cousin nxt. Now I Let mizuno tune ya and let vokey get smokey, let ping do his thing and the putter do his hokey pokey. You like a hefty lefty and I'm a tighty whitey and if you clean on the spin milled you bitey bitey straight back to the hole and it's nighty nighty.  Five up on the front like I'm waving as I leave, keep you out in the open others drop you out they sleeves.  Never ask me to cop you that prada, in return I keep quiet 'bout your dead cousin Balata.  I keep off the news cause that shit is depressin' and it's you who taught me all my life's lessons.        

Monday, June 21, 2010

Complaints to the Dentist About Flossing Serious Member Follow Up

Complaints to the Dentist About Flossing Member Follow Up


Dentist please invite us but dont tell us we got gingivitis Ive been drinking gin plus minus the fact I been kicking the tin since I got canned at Midas.. okay I say ahh and open my mouth the widest I can for ya hineus..he says hmmm whats behind this.. its tooth decay at its finest.. we need to drill the root with no delay this time quick or you gonna end up with abscess or even worse get ya shit pulled and left in absence... I never gone to the dentist like a chick that practice abstinence.. I got this insurance for cap and dent but I figured aint nothing happend yet.. now I got the laughing gas tooth cut in half I guess... mouth numb from novacane head hurting like Kurt Cobain then finally its time to go when my friend in his Chevy Nova Came ! ?! !? !?!


Dental Hygienist Response: People always flossing like they floss but they frontin, ya track suitin, co-paying, gingivitis nothing. Oh you say you run that string game three times per week? You say you keep those canines so fresh they squeak? Your dogs are barkin and I’m hunting for the truth in your lies, waterpik’ing on this chicken with a bib on her thighs. Next time get it right, up your game keep it tight, when I put you on the spot when I see you come December, just be honest, say you floss “every time that you remember.” 

Friday, June 18, 2010

Complaints to the Dentist About Flossing

It’s what the people want.  It’s what they’ll get. Dentist in Blue Patient in Red

Doc every time I come here, I got fear that you drillin’ down from ear to ear.
Seriously…I eat pretty good, I drink pretty good, I brush just as much as a dentist would.
You gotta help me please, my breath smells rotten, I got gum disease.
Last night I give a girl flowers, she threw them back and said something about Austin Powers.

Listen man, I tell you every visit…how come you never floss, man what is it?
It’ll help your halitosis too, were you lookin’ for the burger that I found while I was cleanin’ you?
Have you ever heard of gingivitis?  While we’re talkin’ now here’s an air freshener so bite this.
I can barely stand to kick it with you, if I was your girl, I’d take jail toothbrush and stick it to you.

Wow doc, you’re a harsh ass proctor, I think you’re jammed up ‘cause you couldn’t be a real doctor.
Listen I respect you and the ADA, but that damn flossin’ takes all day…no way!
You got the string, the wax, the shit is mad grief, and I can barely reach my teef.
When it comes down to my oral hygiene, I don’t really care ‘bout in between, know what I mean?

Gave you the bag, the brush and a little floss, they should help your teeth from lookin’ like a little moss.
So don’t come at me with the anti-dentite mentality, eye between those teeth, and face your reality.
You wanna get some girls, want ‘em to be fine, you gotta spend more time on the gumline.
Lazy teeth cleaner, yeah, no doubt, schedule your next meeting with the girl on the way out.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Letters From the Oil Spill

This your boys duck and bird...Gotta tell you something man, this shit is absurd.
I seen another bird dive the sea, minutes later, he floated up and ceased to be.
When the water got shiny, a thousand hungry birds perched behind me.
Damn right I could rise awareness up to its peak, but I can't get this beak to speak.

My duck boys are covered as well, even though birds ain't religious we feelin' your hell.
We can't survive with this petro, and that's a sacrifice YOU made to be runnin your metros.
Donald or Daffy you'd care, but I ain't makin' you money by flyin' the air.
I'm just trying to get my quack on, and trying to live life, swim, without gettin' my black on.


Duck and Bird

I run a beach-side shop, and I gotta speak my mind before I blow my top.
I can't make the rent for a good reason, this oil spill killed tourism worse that the off season.
My kids education, the things me and Kevin do, we'll have to pull them back though with no revenue.
My dream at graduation they walk, lookin' at my books though, and I don't want to have that talk.

Soon I can't afford money for gas, ironically though. the oceans got oil out the ass.
No money when I worked the soil, now this hotel I got might as well be covered in oil.
Oh did I mention that my husband's sick, and the medicine he needs got a price thick.
Clean it up, can't put enough soap in the doom, and I'm staring at the rope in my room.


Resort Owner


Dear Gulf, this is BP, believe me, don't get completely mental, this is easy.
You know the ocean's a big place, this is just a little pimple on the skin of a big face.
Could've been more proactive, safety measures cost money and we stick to our tactics.
Listen they've given us the right to to drill, and if you want to drive you hummers that's that right to kill.

I'm a brit, I can take it. With a little bit of elbow grease on it, I think we can make it.
Cut the dividend and lost a couple friends, the boys got the drill to go at it again.
Gotta get back on track, I want nothing more than to just have my life back.
On camera we'll scrub those birds and take a hit, but 5 years you won't remember shit.




This the oil spill..."plshhhhhhhhhhh" that's me spittin out the oil KILL.
What you never saw an oil flood? You didn't really think their will be blood?
I'll decide to stop now or later, your attempts are off the walls see,
Not an American Gladiator, stop shooting tennis balls at me.

It's not really fair to hate who I am, cause you made, and you'll be at it again.
Money, you love it, fuel. you love it, you don't even know the people I kill, so don't think nothin' of it.
I love making you rowdy, I love breakin' the south down where they can't even get out a 'Howdy'
Please keep workin' hard to conceal me, you might not see me, but the future will feel me.

Good Work,

Oil Spill

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Rap Topic Request 1

Request 1:

Gay marriage
English muffins
Menstrual cramps
Cats using my garden as a litterbox

...all in one rap. Not what I was expecting, but I'm here to serve the people

Everybody pushin' their views...People scream, fight, and kill but never walk out their shoes, Oppression is depressing as watching the news, how can one man decipher the truths? I keep an eye on my bed and my mate, and you can wed who you want it ain't affectin' your fate. I ensure that my values are straight, I could give a fuck less and I don't really care who you date. Idealist in the world are all stuck in their past, voice of bullshit the wind blowing the sails on the mast. Even the new idealists can't even feel this, because I'm white, like to rap, it's always gonna be a miss. I can claim a couple fans in the seas, while the hater's values hollow filled with nooks and crannies. English muffin eaters, take it to the streaters , ignorant assholes in sheets and wife beaters. All hope isn't lost, we got people risen up even knowing the cost. Gotta change the perception of women in rap, they're not just another object to tap. Life providers, out there struggling, many of the poor, alone and left juggling...food, work, kids, a jerk. It's time to get this music message revampin It's these ignorant rappers that sound like they crampin' Life ain't perfect, and we're far from where we need to be. We can keep it positive, people believe me. We're plantin seeds of intelligence so the future can eat, sometimes you diggin' up shit before you feedin' the street.